Lauren Cohen

Staff Writer

An array of Sammy’s handcrafted artwork. Credit: Sammy Stolzenbach

Among the flashy senior class lies a humble, unique, and multitalented gem that goes by the name of Sammy Stolzenbach. Headed to Tufts University next year, Sammy is not only intellectual, but also a laidback, funny, and friendly person. A common phrase often used by soccer peers to describe Sammy is: “literally good at everything.” And, as her accomplishments prove, this is true. She has excelled academically, been a prominent leader and player on the soccer field for 11 years, Milken’s team captain during her junior and senior years, and created breathtaking artwork after just five years of pursuing art (see above).

Who wouldn’t be intrigued to know more about this wonderful human being? To gain a further window into Sammy’s soul, see the interview below.

Are you more of a hunter or gatherer, and why?

I’m definitely more of a gatherer. It’s a lot less work and I’m a fan of berries.

A penguin walks through that door right now wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why is he here?

Does it count as cultural appropriation if I’m not human?

What is your craziest memory at Milken?

My craziest memory from high school is definitely from Tiferet. Two of our counselors (Ofer and Michal) revealed that they were dating the entire four months on the last day of the program after fully convincing everyone that they both had different significant others.

Which Milken teacher is your spirit animal?

Mr. Gernes.

If you were 80 years old, what would you tell your children?

Han shot first.

 If there was a movie produced about your life, who would play you and why?

Ellen page. We are the same height and she is just an all-around perfect human being.

What has been your favorite class at MiIken and why?

My favorite class was and always will be Mr. Moran’s freshman English class, and I think the reason is self-evident.

Which kitchen utensil would you be?

The Golden Spatula.

 If you could spend a year being any inanimate object, which would you be?

Kahoot!

Describe Milken in one word.

Short.

So, as this interview has made invariably clear, Sammy is pretty cool. If you haven’t had a chance to speak to her or meet her, you should do so before she leaves Milken with nothing less than a legacy of greatness behind her.