Fantasy sports at Milken

Fantasy sports at Milken

Jason Welsh

Contributing Writer

Fantasy sports have always allowed the average Joe to “coach” the most famous and well-respected athletes of almost any sport. Not to mention, fantasy leagues have become a great medium for kids to prove their superiority to their close friends without ever breaking a sweat. Within each league, there are many different types of fantasy league owners, and I guarantee there is at least one of these types in your league.

The first type is the “out of town idiot.” (Those of you who watch “The League” on FX know what I’m talking about and should skip the rest of this paragraph.) These kids are usually in your league for one reason: they don’t like being left out.  While most of the people in your friend group like and know sports, there is always one or two partial fans who can barely decipher Ron Artest from Metta World Peace.  These friends hear that you are starting a league and need another player, so they jump at the opportunity to join (perhaps to avoid the unfathomable thought that they could miss out on a group venture). For the first week or two they are super involved, trading a few players, looking up who to add or drop and watching as many games as possible at home. But then the inevitable happens. They start to forget about the league and why they even joined in the first place. They plummet in the standings and get taken advantage of through trades. They become the laughing stalk of the league. Thus, what was once the key to staying involved in the friend circle has become the demise of this socially conscious individual.

The second type of player is someone who knows nothing about sports but stays involved. He or she might get lucky, but since they are playing fantasy sports, it’s the only place they tend to get lucky. This is person who says, “I swear I don’t know how I got into first place. I just drafted the highest ranked person I could.” In my fantasy basketball league we have one of these, and let me tell you, it is frustrating. I mean, I follow basketball and I completely understand it. I try to win every week but my team just can’t win right now! Ok, sorry, that’s my little tangent. Anyways, these kids are the chosen ones I guess. I mean, chew on this. “I know nothing about actual basketball. I have no idea which team is first. I actually didn’t know that OJ Mayo, a player on my team, was African American until yesterday, yet I still manage to stay in 1st place.” Oliver Shahery ’13,said. (I’ll reluctantly inform you that he demolished me three weeks ago and my ego still has not recovered.)

The next type of Fantasy player knows what he’s doing (at least he thinks he does) and knows the sport, but still doesn’t do well. This is the “Add/Drop” guy. He originally drafted a good team, but his susceptibility to external influences i.e. googling who he should pick up every day, has led to his demise. By adding and dropping too many players he has slowly diminished the value and statistical output of his team causing him to fall to the bottom of the pack.

“I just always see someone who looks promising and I get really excited they could be the missing piece to my team.” Said the owner of the team in 6th place in this league (who did not want to be named).  Only two of the players on his team (out of 12) are ones that were originally drafted to his team. Looks like that’s working out well.

Ha!

Lastly there is the “trade crazed” player. Every time you open up your home page you have ANOTHER trade proposed to you from this player. There is at least one player on your team that this guy must have. Short of his entire team in exchange for your one player, you have seen almost every trade possible. Now, here’s the annoying part: a day after you trade this player (of whom you happened to be quite fond), you see he’s been traded away to another team already! Wow, I’m so glad my player meant something to you.

So, if you are ever in a fantasy sport league, keep an eye out for these troublemakers, and if you are one, embrace it. You are what keeps this fantasy sport so interesting for everyone else.