You may believe that Mr. Gamboa came to Milken to be your average AP Psychology teacher, but private investigators recently found that the real reason he decided to come to Milken was to reinstate the ZBT frat house. While Milken’s ZBT house may seem secretive, the frat resides in the parking lot bungalows. The bungalows have been funded by the Canadian YouTube sensations Nelk Boys, as part of their new outreach program to expand frat culture.

At least four times a week, when the students are done with all their extracurriculars, Mr. Gamboa makes his way into the bungalow to throw a rager, or as he calls it, a “frat function.” After not participating in frat life in college, this new teacher made the brave decision to make a frat house of his own, but he needed people to recruit. 

Last week, after the teacher meeting about the new block schedule, Mr. Madnikoff, Mr. Painter, Mr. Gibert, and Mr. Gallaway were heading to their cars ecstatic by the news, when suddenly two figures emerged from the shadows and suffocated them with Milken-branded pillowcases. While confused, they were not so concerned when they heard idiotic laughs among them and awoke in the bungalow to see Mr. Gamboa flexing and calling the others Alphas in the mirror. Gamboa, seeming to be possessed, continued to shotgun Poppis from the vending machine. Maybe it was a midlife crisis, but these brave teachers felt that being a part of the brotherhood gave them a new sense of purpose in the kehillah, well until their 401k kicks in.  

While hazing has been banned on many college campuses, Brother Gamboa has taken advantage of his colleagues. Gamboa started to call the fellow teachers’ pledges, and demanded they obey his orders. 

Swamped with assignments? Wondering how you get your AP Psychology grades back so fast? Gamboa is not the one grading your work. He doesn’t even care if you complete your assignments; he has been assigning more in order to see the pledges struggle. Not only have the pledges taken on grading, but the “pledging” also included one of the most tedious jobs to exist at Milken: subbing in the middle school. The horrors of any middle school campus can not be put into words, “I’m not even sure what happened down there but the next morning I had something in Farsi tattooed on my forehead?”pleaded pledge Painter. 

Familiar with the boys’ volleyball team? Well, it’s not exactly all it seems. The varsity team was crafted by frat president Gamboa to help train and indoctrinate students who are soon to be pledges. Gamboa even brought in an outsider as his “assistant coach” to help establish his dominance with the future pledges. As head coach, Mr. Gamboa does not care about the boys’ volleyball potential but continues to seek out potential brothers who will be loyal. “I ain’t want no opps in ZBT,” was overheard from Mr. Gamboa in the bungalows one afternoon. Sadly, there was already a mole within the fraternity.

Over time, our informant has been gathering more information and evidence from the frat. Gamboa has been confiding in our source as they thought he was a loyal brother. “Colleagues by chance, brothers by choice,” was the motto inside the frat, but one brother decided he regretted pledging the brotherhood.

Our source, although incredibly vulnerable, shared his story with The Roar. “I just wanted to be a part of the kehillah. I wanted to spend my Shabbat vayinafashing with my brothers. They didn’t respect the ‘vayinafash’ part about Shabbat. I spent all the free time I had grading papers and coming up with excuses for why I ‘wanted’ to sub for middle school. They called me un-American and took away my name. I’m now known as Chad. I have been traumatized, and I am completely distraught that these brothers made the active choice of going against Milken’s core values.”

Although the anonymous ZBT victims testimony is beyond disturbing, ZBT has asked The Roar to promote their spring 2024 rush class. If you are interested, students who request the “MilkenZBT” Instagram page will be excused from their H blocks to attend the ZBT Après-ski rager in the bungalows.  We were also told to inform the community that the party is BBYP, bring your own Poppi, and you will need a real physical ID or Instagram proof in order to get in.