Recently, Milken bought the American Jewish University (AJU) campus and renamed it Milken East. The entire community is excited to begin using the new space as it will provide larger facilities for students and will add a new aspect to Milken life outside of the main campus everyone is so used to.
However, there is already one major concern: the extremely large and inconvenient distance between Milken and AJU. “There is no way I can drive a full two minutes every time I want to travel between the campuses,” an anonymous student said. “It’s just too much for me and my Tesla to handle.” Head of School Dr. Shulkind agreed with this sentiment, stating, “the frustrating and unbearable distance between the two campuses will cause a rift in the Kehillah and Areivut Milken is famous for.”
But don’t worry, the sacred core values of Milken will not be infringed upon so easily. Recently, Dr. Shulkind has been inspired by the gondola that may be built between Dodger Stadium and Chinatown. “It’s such a great solution to Dodger Stadium’s ineffective parking,” she said, “And it definitely won’t cause any problems for the people living below the gondola.”
With this inspiration, Dr. Shulkind and the Milken board have made the decision to construct a gondola between Milken and Milken East. The gondola will be colored in Milken’s signature hue, tahiti blue and will float elegantly over the 405 Highway. Additionally, it will take up to 10 students at a time from the Milken flag poles to the center of Milken East.
Upon hearing this news, an anonymous student cried out in relief, “Thank God, I cannot risk crashing my BMW on the bridge again every time I want to travel to Milken East.” Shulkind added, “the gondola is a great use of budget that strengthens students’ Jewish connection to Milken.” However, she also noted that the gondola will be shut down on Shabbat in accordance with Milken’s core value of Shavat Vayinafash.
It’s safe to say that this is a huge win for students. Making the perilous journey between Milken and Milken East so often would take a toll on student morale. Instead, students will be lifted up into the skies and closer to Milken’s core values every time they travel to the new campus.
Purim stories are fictional, satirical stories to celebrate The Roar’s favorite Jewish holiday, Purim!
