Mr. McAdamis’ Cats Storm The Capital

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Rachael Namvar, Staff Writer

The day of the riots was a troubling day for people across the country and Americans were tuning in to see the chaos firsthand. This day was especially shocking for Milken English teacher Mr. McAdamis. He turned on CNN and saw his own family, his cats, Lilly and Coco, storming the Capitol and clawing their way up the walls of the Capitol building. In utter disbelief, Mr. McAdamis, a non-Trump supporter, ran to the security cameras in his house to see his cats escaping in the middle of the night with MAGA hats on their pointy ears and “Women For Trump 2020” flags in their paws.

“It was a shock,” Mr. McAdamis recalled. “I just could not believe I was living with imposters in my own home. I was just so disappointed in my Lilly and Coco… I really thought I raised them to be better than this.” 

Tuning back in to the news on his TV, Coco and Lilly were being interviewed by a NewsMax journalist when Coco said, “Meow meow meoowwwww MEOW meow meow. MEOW MEOW MEOW!” (Translation: We are here as proud Americans using our First Amendment right to fight for our hero, Donald Trump! Trump 2020!) Lilly, nodding in agreement, added this: “Meow meow meow! Meowwwwww meeeeeow MEOW.” (Translation: Democrats are cheating the system! Donald Trump won the 2020 election fair and square.”)

Mr. McAdamis covered his daughter’s eyes and ears, making sure she didn’t see the kind of felines her siblings are. He says, “I just don’t know where I went wrong. I do my best to make sure that my kids are not getting fake news and know the facts. I saw them choose Biden on their mail-in ballots! Although now looking back, it was a bit fishy that they wanted to mail them in themselves…” 

Hearing his cats say these meows on national television, Mr. McAdamis knew he could only do one thing: go to the Capitol building and retrieve his children. He knew he needed to teach them a lesson and they had a big talk coming their way. He grabbed his keys and a mask, and got on the next flight to Washington D.C., running towards the chaos, unlike so many who were trying to stay as far away as possible. Mr. McAdamis knew it was dangerous to go there in these conditions but knew he needed to do what was right for his family. He did not want Lilly and Coco being a bad influence on his daughter. 

“Of course I was nervous,” Mr. McAdamis mentions, “I knew being in that crowd would not be fun, but it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t let them get away with this.” The English teacher went to D.C. with a plan: get Coco and Lilly and get out! He knew he did not want to be amidst the chaos for a long time but was worried he wasn’t going to be able to find them in the swarm of Trumpies. “I was worried that It was going to be a challenge to find them there because it was so crowded,” McAdamis explains. “Then I thought, how many cats would be at this thing? Probably not a lot.” 

But instead when Mr. McAdamis stepped out of the plane and into Ronald Reagan Washington National airport, he was shocked to see a swarm of furry felines lining up to get Ubers to the riot. Who knew there was a thriving pro-Trump cat community? Mark Zuckerberg, that’s who. Facebook has been indoctrinating cats for a while now, which came as a shock to Mr. McAdamis because he didn’t even know his cats knew what Facebook was. “I started to get worried when I saw all of these cats in the airport,” Mr. McAdamis expresses, “I thought this was going to be easy but the closer I got to the Capitol building, the more worried I became.” 

Still remaining positive, Mr. McAdamis got into a taxi and made his way to the Capitol building. “I asked the taxi driver to turn on NPR just so I knew what I was getting myself into,” Mr. McAdamis says. “When he turned the volume up, I heard a loud ‘MEOWWWW! MEOW MEOWWW!’ (Translation: Trump 2020! Trump 2020!) and knew it was my precious Coco. I never knew they were so passionate about this, we literally have Biden signs outside of our house!” Mr. McAdamis reveals. 

Stepping out of the taxi and readjusting his mask, Mr. McAdamis said a little prayer before stepping into the disarray. Nervous and angry, he stormed into the Capitol making sure to keep his head down no matter what. Trying to navigate his way to the front lines, Mr. McAdamis looked up and spotted Coco and Lilly climbing up the walls and trying to enter the building. He had locked in where he needed to go and did not look back. “At that point it was just a race to the building. I wanted to catch them before they entered because I didn’t want to keep chasing them,” said Mr. McAdamis. 

Tired and annoyed, Mr. McAdamis finally made his way to the walls that Coco and Lilly were trying to climb over. “It was a struggle to push through all of these crazy rioters while still trying to remain out of the chaos. I never wanted to be put in this situation but thanks to Coco and Lilly, I had no other choice. When I had finally reached them, they knew I was there for them and tried to make a run for it!” Mr. McAdamis explains. “At this point, I was so fed up. I just wanted to be back in the safety of my own home.” 

Clawing and fighting their way to the top, Lilly let out a gigantic “MEEEEOOOOWWWW” which could only mean one thing: they had completed their task of going to the entrance. Mr. McAdamis knew he could not let this happen and was frightened by the fact that he might have to chase after them into the building. 

Mr. McAdamis fought harder than ever before, wanting to catch them before they had caused irreparable damage. Finally, with one last push through the swarm, he had finally caught up to them. He started shouting for them which only made them run faster. “They knew they were in trouble and were scared of what was going to happen, as they should have. They know that we have a zero-tolerance Trump policy in my home,” Mr. McAdamis explains.

“I was chasing after them for what felt like hours,” says Mr. McAdamis. “It wasn’t until I snuck up behind them and grabbed them without them realizing. They let out a couple loud ‘MEOWS’ before finally admitting they had been defeated.” 

When he finally arrived home, Coco and Lilly knew what was going to happen. Their Trump memorabilia had been confiscated and it was time for the inevitable discussion. “I sat them down and calmly explained how unsafe they were being,” Mr. McAdamis says. “Even if I don’t agree with them politically, it is still my job to make sure they are safe. Either way, I told them that their behavior was unacceptable and serious consequences were going to be done. I had limited their Facebook use to an hour a week and monitored their activity closely,” Mr. McAdamis explains. 

“Meow meow meow… Meow meeooww meow. Meow meow meow!” (Translation: We are sorry if we disappointed you… it just looked like fun! There were so many red lasers to catch!)