BREAKING NEWS: Fern Dubow announced as new Head of School
Jake Davidson - Thursday, March 8, 2012
The formal announcement will come at a press conference on March 9, but The Roar’s investigative unit was able to uncover the name of the newest addition to the Milken administration, the person to boldly blaze the trail as Milken separates from Stephen S. Wise Temple: Ms. Fern Dubow.
Scandal: Shocking news about Tiferet program revealed
Michael Kessler - Thursday, March 8, 2012
In a shocking turn of events, The Roar’s Nofim Education Team has found that Milken’s flagship Tiferet Israel Fellowship program, often referred to as the crown jewel of the Milken experience, does not actually send students to Israel.
Heartbreak: Mr. Tyler’s devestating health revelation
Jake Davidson - Thursday, March 8, 2012
The Roar’s Special Health Unit of Sanitary History, or SHUSH, has uncovered medical documents that have drastic implications for the future of the Milken library. The documents confirm that Mr. Tarince Tyler, the lovable librarian, has a debilitating hearing condition and will be completely deaf very soon.
NASCAR comes to Skirball parking lot
Gabriel Freeman - Thursday, March 8, 2012
The parking lot saga that has kept student drivers at Milken on the edge of their seats has taken unprecedented twists and turns in recent weeks. The madness has been the source of much talk around the Milken community, but today the RSAIS (Roar Special Auto Investigative Service) has released the results of a secretive investigation that will shock the student body.
One less problem for Milken Problems
Jake Davidson - Thursday, March 8, 2012
Acquiescing to popular demand and mounting pressure, Twitter’s Milken Problems has finally decided to reveal himself to The Roar’s special IIU (Internet Investigative Unit). In a surprising twist to some, Milken Problems is operated by copy machine extraordinaire David Miyawaki.
Golf team receives international recognition
Leigh Jacobson - Thursday, March 8, 2012
Golf team receives international recognition.
Milken to institute new dress code, effective next week
Michael Kessler - Thursday, March 8, 2012
Following a four month sabbatical spent in an Amish community in north central Indiana, Dr. Roger Fuller, upper school principal, has decided to implement a new, stricter dress code that closely mirrors typical Amish garb.
Milken voices: Studies show that senior efforts have doubled in second semester
Leigh Jacobson - Thursday, March 8, 2012
Based on research recently published by the administration, studies indicate that the senior Class of 2012 has intensified their academic efforts in the past semester. According to the report, 99.999998% of second semester seniors are scoring higher on all of their exams.